Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

AMD confirms AGESA 1.2.0.3e fixes TPM security flaw - VideoCardz.com

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Air India plane crash death toll rises to 270 - BBC

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is music publishing?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

D.C. Defenders win UFL title, 58-34 - NBC Sports

I can read

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Royals share new photos of Prince William with children - BBC

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What is a good tool for product analytics besides Google Analytics?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Apple will let third party music apps show animated artwork on the iPhone lock screen, not just Apple Music - 9to5Mac

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Can you share 100 facts about yourself?

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

How should an atheist respond to a religious person who asks, "Why do you hate God?" What are some appropriate and inappropriate ways to answer this question?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What role did China play in the signing of the "Beijing Declaration" between Fatah and Hamas? What other information is worth noting for talks among Palestinian factions in Beijing?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

— fri(end)s forever!

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink